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Sunday, July 26, 2009

MY GOD

all i've done for the past 24 hours is yell. and i mean that literally. i think i yhelled all night(it was just internal) while the kids stuck their sweaty bellies onto my thighs, chest, neck, whathaveyou. AND all day today. YELL yell yell. Don't climb the arbor! Don't punch your brother! There is no hitting in this family! No guns in the house! (sticks perform multiple tasks here as guns, swords, guns, swords) You go to time out! You have a choice, time out or no movie! You go to time out!

We are having some issues.
and so i moved the baby's crib out of my room this afternoon. I've been doing the familybed thing quite unwittingly and while I think it is fine, it is now too goddamned hot and these boys are too big and I'm not sleeping and consequently, the YELL.
I think I might be scared of boy energy.
I still haven't taken Grammie's stash out of my car and its sitting out in front of the house like a vast oil spill.
I'm scared of my own anger. same spill. I am worried that I am yelling because I am fundamentally unsuitable for the raising of boys. I am .

1 comments:

Mama Mama Quite Contrary said...

Not even 9:30 and I've already told Vivi she has to get out of my face. Who says that to a 3 year old? Apparently I do because I am not much more mature. Girls or boys, overwhelmed is overwhelmed and you and I seem to be in the same sinking boat.