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Friday, March 5, 2010

obsessions- I NEED YOU...


I've now told everyone that I'm sexy, have a heart like a walnut (not true), make a mean sweetpotato black bean burrito, ignore my children with hope that they will be fine and that i am really, very funny.

now you know.

I also lack some serious reality-based thought processeeees.. and some spelling skill when it comes to the odd pluralizing or some things which switch from s to z when they get 'ing'ed.

I also check obsessively to see if anyone has read this thing. and I mean, obsessively. It freaks me out a little (lot) that I need contact so much during my days. It feels like junior high and someone has scorned me for wearing the wrong sneakers. Would I need this so much if I had a job outside the house or more time per day in which I weren't the one and only friend to a two year old boy? or a four year old boy? And I am not being funny here, it freaks me out how little I can get done sometimes because I am waiting to get a 'ping' on my pages. 'get done' is an awful phrase at this point in my life, but i am trying to maintain the house as well as raise these two kids and so there is a constant list, as there is for everyone else, i know. My husband says that since this is an authentic expression of myself here, the friends I am making are also authentic, because what you like, is in fact, me. But its all wacky, isn't it... the friends o'the internet line, so much less romantic than a pen pal but essentially the same - only dispersed and less personal, more 'modern', as if that were a neccessarily good thing. Where are you? What does it look like where you live? What do you look like? is it even important to know? What are your struggles- how did you get here? what are the things you leave out?

I'm actually thinking about re-reading that Garner book I loved so much earlier, for its quietude and peace amidst a storm... Aside from the Chronicles of Narnia (aslan, aslan, rah rah rah), anything Bronte, and Goodnight Moon, I can't think of the last thing I re-read...

I want to write a letter. with a pen. for pages and pages, and have the romance of waiting for a response. . .

4 comments:

Athena said...

Making friends over the internet is weird. It's like you know peoples' innermost thoughts, but none of the stuff that matters socially.

And if you are looking for a penpal, hook me up with your address. I will write you a 3 page letter on my pretty purple stationary.

urban craft said...

ping.

I totally write letters. In addition to that. I upload digital shots and have them printed to actual *GASP* photographs and send them to people with said handwritten letters.

And I've got your address.

thisnewplace said...

I totally need to get out more, but havent been online a ton or anything, blogging is tough, reading and commenting even tougher! P.S. reading is good for you! I am just starting to read books again, fun books, just to escape a bit. It's so nice!

D&d said...

I read you almost every day. I hope that's okay.