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Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Sun is on my shadow


I'm a big walking shadow these days... full of grim looks and despairing eyebrows...

I tried to buy a dress --on this day of my in-laws kidsitting... it was just like bathing suit shopping and I think I am in the middle ages, too old for the juniors and too young for the womens... and so I have noticed the skin beneath my chin. . .

it is probably time to jump off a bridge. the once/twice yearly despair binge hit while rocking the two year old to sleep last night. that bleak moment wherein one says 'its actually going to be like this forever, isn't it? '...

grim.

despairing.

headaches. baths in the middle of the day when the kids are awake and presumably okay...

and yet, what i have been living has not been so.

J and I took the boys to a ballet of Pippi this weekend. how damn cool was that? I was so proud of it, it kept me from the sugar all day Sunday. demon sugar. like crack for the stay at homer.

am i homer?

shit.

and i've been in the sun all day, found an ACTUAL quilting shop and actually drooled. i had to hide in the back room and giggle and wipe my eyes dry before I spent my 12 dollars on fabric.
then i got wendy's on the way home, more skin for the neck, i guess...
I am not feeling healthy, am not feeling spring, am looking at the sun and the crocuses and resenting them for their intrusion.
so there. take that. bathing suit shopping. neckfat. thirtysix in june. thirtysix. neckfat?!

3 comments:

Jen said...

Neck fat is WAY better than Back fat. So I think you are good. Dresses are for girls! What you need is some really tight black leggings and a cute long sweater. It's like wearing your PJ's but actually being dressed.
What kind of fabric did you buy, what are you gonna make? Finished the swap. I'll show tomorrow. Yikes! I hope my new friend(?) likes it!

Viv said...

I just read a post by a lady buying neck cream from Costco...or rather sending her husband to buy it.

Must be that time of year. I'll need to stop cleaning my mirrors until next Fall, maybe then I won't notice.

Mama Mama Quite Contrary said...

Oh lady, we need a playdate. At the very least, I can show you my postpartum twin belly and you will feel mighty good about the state of your neck and the rest of your body.