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Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Ripping and Groaning...

My friend Sam came over today to help me look around the house and start thinking about prepping it for sale. 
as if that weren't enough of a slam to the body... i also bought a power ranger costume for the boys but only one, as i am an idiot in need of meds.
big meds, preferably of the bottle of wine alone in the bath variety- although maybe the cabana boy of my dreams could come in handy today.

also, i want to say this... I have now experienced my third day of preschool and by that, i mean, my three hours of time alone... they just keep on coming... and yet, i have yet to feel the elation i thought was coming, after five plus years of hoorah around breasting, bearing, carrying, nursing, weaning, etc.  you would think i'd celebrate wildly, but it appears I have forgotten how to be literally by myself.  I can be lonely, in fact, some would say i excel at that ... but alone? 
i'm doing laundry, washing floors, chalking up notepads, drinking coffee... and then putzing (without any double entendre)... an entire three hour putz happened today - wherein i vacuumed, coffee'd, etc. and then it was up, all of a sudden, over...
is there something wrong?  am i in some sort of bizarro-world?  alone, alone, alone, she cried.... for years, i have been craving this...
all that time?  just to do some dishes?

2 comments:

The Maven said...

From someone who's going through the same thing at the same time, can I just say that it will come? We're a few days ahead of you - Spawnling's gone to all-day preschool about five times or six times now. And each time it gets easier and more enjoyable to have the day to myself. This week I was able to take my first "sick day" in thirteen years. I didn't have to cater to anyone else, fetch juice, make lunch, play monsters, or anything. Just sit, watch lame-o TV, drink coffee and rest. Oh, the rest was nice! I get to do it again tomorrow (and I still need it because this cold is kicking my ass).

We spend so many years "on", caring for others, that it's really hard to know what to do for ourselves when we're alone. Better we figure it out now rather than later, though. Do you know how many women on Hoarders I've seen who said it started after their kids moved out? EEEP! May I never have a dead cats under a pile of unwashed clothing because I didn't learn how to be alone! :P

Mama Mama Quite Contrary said...

I can really sympathize. When I get a few hours to myself I am practically paralyzed. So much to do so what do I do? Then, of course, as I'm in the midst of parenting HELL, I stare at my sewing machine longingly.