tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1721926726883410358.post387824691510859911..comments2023-05-16T05:57:06.748-04:00Comments on WifeMotherExpletive: CigarettesKate Hallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02096894906554704179noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1721926726883410358.post-3856174738587603752017-03-10T08:09:55.260-05:002017-03-10T08:09:55.260-05:00"when i step out of the kitchen, the house an..."when i step out of the kitchen, the house and sit down and have a cigarette, I feel like a badass, I feel separate and distinct from the work of the home, the work of the mother, I feel my spirit RISE and get ready to do battle... and its surprising and not surprising how all the work of the home can really deaden that feeling of RISE."<br /><br />wow. That is powerful knowing and the words you gave to it even more so. <br /><br />What do I do to feel my strength? my badass? <br /><br />hmmmm ... I feel badass when I can look back at see how I can get shit done. For example, I recently posted that photo on instagram of my 2013 journal and wrote ALL that was going on during that season ( and ALL that was going on and yet that teacher, the leader of that program told me that I run when things get hard ... Whatfuckingever.) ... and after reading all of that, I feel strong. I remember who I am and what I can do. <br /><br />In the moment, I don't ever feel badass ... I just do what needs to be done ... even in my creative work. I show up. I think its shit. then later, I go back and realize its good work. <br /><br />I used to smoke. over thirty two years ago. I don't remember what I felt like then. I remember one incident. My mother was a shy person and couldn't deal with many things in life, especially hospitals. When I was nineteen, my grandparents took a fall. They were taking their evening walk and the manhole cover that my Papa stepped on broke and he fell down into the hole and since they were holding hands, my grandmother fell too. I am the one who had to call the ambulance, answer their questions, get them settled in at the hospital. <br /><br />Once all that was done and we were in the waiting room, I asked my brother for a cigarette. ( because you smoked everywhere then) ... and my mother was furious. I didn't say anything but I remember thinking, "Woman. I just did all the things at barely nineteen that you should have been doing. Cut me some slack. I'm having a smoke" LOL.<br /><br />Anyway ... I love you and your words. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01374547875792036106noreply@blogger.com