Wednesday, July 15, 2009

what i am is what i am

so i'm skinny. sort of, i mean, i've got a belly that shows off the birth of two children and some of my 35 years. i look bigger than i am. and vice versa, i am bigger than i look. in my family, i'm the shortest one around and even get the comments that are the reverse of what most people think would be terrible... 'you're so skinny, you've got to eat more, you're just bones, how do you stand up?" seriously . mostly funny but i've got gigantic cousins and they do tend to think skinny is ugly and i get that, don't really have a problem with it except in my more vain moments. i recognize that its easier the way that i am, and have tasted through my friend's experiences, the brutality aimed at people with extra weight. I have crohn's disease and react badly to food in large quantities and did spend an ungodly amount of time avoiding wheat and allthings white... in high school and college i was four sizes bigger than i am now, then i got some sporty jones going on and became a rower, new bedford style with a whaleboat and a lot of grunting. i loved it and had muscles and a booming voice and became the coxswain and the youth coach. LOVED IT. and thats when i met my husband, when i was physically strong and actually had stomach muscles... something i have only used for laboring with a baby since then. its just the way that i am, the way i was born, right down to the crohn's disease. . . its what i am.
i'm way way bigger on the inside. and damn you if you mistake that.
i'm also deaf in one ear and shittily-eared in the other...
are you what you are or what?
thanks to edie brickell for ruining my entire day .


Anonymous said...

oh those new bohemians. They don't know what they are talking about.