the hubsJ is just freshly gone for a two night sail with his 80 year old father and his sister... and the freedom of solo-parenting (temporarily, that word being a HUGELY important part of my experience of it...) is pretty amazing. I've talked about it before, I know, but I love the stretching of time. I don't have to think ahead much about what is for dinner, what behavior I have to limit, what bedtime is okay for everyone, etc. And the pressure-release on my ego is pretty great, some balloon-squeal of letgo. . . and I do think the ego problem is ALL mine, a relaxation of my fraudulent, imaginary sense of control. For instance, don't give a shit today bout how much tv the kids watch, because I don't have to tell a damn soul about it... don't care if they eat a single vegetable for the next week and a half. (it might not be very good for their longevity, this private parenting thing. hm) As long as blood is not drawn, it will all be okay. and blood may be drawn, and it'll still work out somehow.
(just watched my kid pee out the porch door rather than walk to the bathroom. maybe i should come down a little harder about this. maybe later. god bless his teachers for what they'll have to deal with this year. hoorah pre-school teachers everywhere! hooray!!)
I suppose I could feel like this all the time if I chose, the freedom of apathy? or maybe thats a little too close to a lack of hope, or a decision to walk away from what responsibility there is inherent in child-rearing, responsible living. and I'm not at that point, although I've probably had some minutes where I could have turned in that direction.
so its apples for me, today, a change from the oranges, and its nice. and absence really does make the heart grow fonder. it really does.