Friday, December 6, 2013


this morning i am up early, knowing somehow that the light coming into the world is more than my wristwatch is acknowledging.  my clock had stopped, the dawn was arrived.  this afternoon begin the services for my dad. the 'visiting hours' which seem so short, but are so unbelievably costly.  did you know? do you really know, for one set of visiting hours, retrieval of the body from the hospital and cremation, we're talking almost 8 thousand dollars? THOUSAND. and we are doing one, three hour visiting thing plus a funeral tomorrow.  and you are supposed to pay before the service happens.
hustle hustle. die on the inside some more. die to be writing checks . i'm not funny.

while i know that what you expect is grief and while i can tell you that i have more than enough to satisfy your pining for grief, i want to also tell you to go buy some insurance. i really do.  my parents must have been planning since they were in their 20s.  it is absolutely unreal how well and seriously they planned for this kind of occaasion.  my mom is fine, will be fine, and will be self-suficient.  it is miraculous, and a testament to my dad and his need to get things taken care of.  .  . but, the whole idea that planning for something like this is a bad idea, or somehow tells the universe to make it come faster is a crock.  please go get some burial insurance or something because your kids or your spouse cannot handle economic destitution on top of all this grief.  take care of your people.

and while i lecture you on something you really need to do, my whole life is an unpleasant spin. nauseating, and so damn sad...
crying on the tilt-o-whirl.


MotherOfGooses said...

My condolences to you and your family.

Danica Bridges-Martin said...

Wow, I never knew it cost so much.
Sorry for your loss.
:( Danica