Monday, July 25, 2016


I'm still doing allright, my toes are sandy right now as we've just returned from a few hours at the beach. I'm doing allright with a few glitches, here and there.  Its become more important for me to track my cycles, as I need to hang on for dear life during the pre-menstruation ride.  Its helpful to know there is relief in sight. very. the moon, man.  the moon.

My eight asked me today if the oceans would just be a pool if the moon exploded... and all i could think about was The Last Airbender movie... did you see it? the world 'bathed in fire' when the moon spirit is crushed... my kids and I love that movie.  I think my three hasn't got a memory of it....

Too much time still spent thinking about J. Way too much. what? where? why? It was a long fifteen years, and I can't shake it off like he can, I guess.

I took a pottery class and LOVED it, had beginners luck the first class and will have something to bring home and photograph and be proud grandma to, sometime in August. The instructor was divorced and I listened to him talk about how lovely it was for he and his former wife, and just almost stuck my face in the clay in sorrow, for the not-niceness that I have going on internally, and the deep pain that I feel every time I see J.

not nice.

I danced with total freedom to Michael Jackson in the kitchen this morning.  It was awesome.  It freaked out the kids, and I kept on keeping on... total freedom doesn't really happen that often, it seems...

I'm getting more in touch with old friends, who've been through divorce, and its been very educational.  There is an awful lot of time needed for women, and a lot of anger and bitterness here and there, in pockets. time time time.

I have got that one in my pocket.  lots of it.

I'm not posting much here because it is actually hectic most of the time here, and even my 'one whole day' where J has the kids is not free and unplanned... but I am posting on instagram @wifemotherexpletive , if you want to see more stuff.