Saturday, February 23, 2013

Miss Me Miss Me...

we were away, actually North, in all its Capitalized glory.  We went to where the fir only barely poke through the woods of snow and darkness and there may likely be wolves.  I hope there are, at least. There are definitely bear and moose, at least according to the highway signs. NORTH.  Where you wonder how the animals possibly traverse the steep inclines, and you peer through the trees in hopes of discovering their truths.  we left behind more snow than we found, but it has melted here and only finds more of itself there.
and now we are back, and i am feeling less of my gungho bonanza self, although once felt, things have not settled into the-rut-that-was... and i don't think they will settle quite that low again.  but i am spending a lot of time looking outwardly lately, how to change my appearance, cut my hair, what do you think about honkies dreading their hair? i'm sortof tempted. to find my style on the outsides, as i'm at a loss about what to do on the inside.  I have fallen out of my regular therapy schedule with Chakra Carol because of the baby and the need to feed her myself.  As she's past the 3 month marker now, I could probably get back to it, but it causes my heart a little race just to think of, so perhaps I am not quite ready. i do miss Carol though. i've been doing reiki on the kids more, and thinking of my own body more, as I attempt to keep my chakras clearing... :) (so flouflou, i know..)

Regularity and Routine are both my friend and reluctant adversaries. Within the days of homelife, they are there and yet wide open to change as we nurse on demand, build on demand and eat as we are called to do so... but the self-care? whoosh.  not so regular and not routine and i think i need to make them so.  but how to create the ritual of it? within the whacked out-ness of homelife?
I'm trying to make tiny changes here and there, to see what will come of them... tiny pinholes making sparks...


MotherOfGooses said...

I alternate between my life is so boring and without boredom my life would be too crazy. Good reminder, while the inside world rests, the outside world can be get a hair cut I think.