Thursday, January 8, 2009

Wife or Mother?

Just read some of a debate on which is easier, Wife-ing or Mother-ing? on a site called Dooce, by a woman called heather. Would link to it if I knew how but so it goes. It was pretty interesting and seems that if a marriage is not altogether horrifying, it gets put on the backburner while the whole business of mothering goes on. So, lots of the discussion seemed to relegate husbands to the corner if divorce was not part of the picture. Some of the younger mothers made all lovey to both marriage and motherhood, but most of the women sounded sane and heads were realistically wound onto necks... in that, motherhood was such a shock and getting through those first weeks the first (and second, third, etc.) such a mind-blowing thing- husbands couldn't begin to understand and so were relegated to the sidelines.
this all seems a bit of a blather.
but here's more.
Its nice to know its not all me. I'm not some sort of emotionally disfunctional woman who can't understand why her walnut heart cannot encompass all the men in the house at the same time. I do my damndest. AND I DO. but I can't take care of everyone's needs when they have them. There are too many and too many of the needs involve my breasts, frankly. There are only two of them, large though they are. and stretchy, at this point, pendulous...