Thursday, March 21, 2013


I'm not tone, my muscles are not toned, my ears are not toned, nor tuned. my tunes are not toned... but I do know tone, have used tone to effect and to ill.  . . . and now I feel so much of it is wrongly pitched, I can't seem to escape its grip once heard/read or otherwise imbibed.
I'm talking about all the tone in the writings these days, the facebook posts which scream blame and shame and scorn all over the place, the 'if you really love god, you'll share this blah...' tones... the 'if you ... then... ' .
and I'm just about ready to shut it off over these tones.  you dig?

* there was a break-in at a local church and the man was caught and he was a scumbag and pissed in the font of holy water and they're calling it a hatecrime and the papers say he could be put away for life for 'hatecrime' with intent to poison. evidently his piss could be contagious.
i'm so sad for the world. the priest says his community is 'saddened'... it is sad. it is so sad.
why does a paper call him full of hate and suggest a lifetime in jail? sells more? riles people up to celebrate a jerk in jail forever. forever. ?  but i could get drunk and kill your grandmother and i wouldn't go to jail for life? LIFE?
i don't know man.  some of those church people said they wouldn't pray for him.  that makes me want to cry.

you can bite me over all this negativity, cool?

its snowing here, again... but its too late. the snow has lost its gravity, it does no more than tickle the anxiety centers that live and float around here.  spring has sprung. 

the baby is sick, and needs to be upright in order to sleep. it is daytime now, and right now i have her sleeping buckled in the car seat on the floor in the kitchen and i am typing here. here. where she is not.  thats the mom i am these days.  rocking it.
she can turn over now, did i say that?

trying to talk real to hubsJ is sort of a miss, as I am all disconnected from what is going on outside of the carseat. he does not understand this.

my tone shifts from deeply manipulative and bullying to one of sleepy darkness and exhaustion.  can you hear it?