Thursday, November 7, 2013
deep sigh. long and slow. looong. slooow.
with the removal of the halloween candies, my mood seems to have levelled out a bit. i no longer want to bite strangers, and the fools who post hundreds of pictures of themselves can rest easy that i know they're just doing the best that they can, however lame that best may be.
i may have some sugar issues.
heh. really, i was all supernaturally predatory for about a week. damn the milkyways...
thinking about weaning the little one is enough to make me cry and feel monstrously defensive, and want to dig through the last trashbag for the candies. oh god.
i've still got that mood with me... its been quite a month, waves of 'feeling' come upon me and i'm beached for a while.
its not even menstruation, i tell you.
i am wickedly judgemental but believe me, no one is as judged as i judge myself.
well, probably lots of people judge themselves as harshly as i've been doing. it ain't right, i tell you. it aint.
hubsJ and i have instituted Wednesday as a 'date' day, a time to sit or sex it up or watch a movie, or whatever. so don't call. its an attempt at making time for ourselves amongst the grid of grind. we must poke through this momdad popstand of policing that we've/ I've made for myself. its probably good, makes me feel like poking holes in the hood i've pulled over my head. 'poking' overuse intended.
I've gotten lots and lots of books lately and I'm slogging my way through some enjoyable things, some less so but I feel compelled to slog. these are the authors, of spiritual matters, of good things, and of ridiculous science fiction and fantasy. i can't find the titles all at once. but, i mean, i still tire of the laze of linking. i do. i know it stymies us, this whole 'look it up' thing. but geez. GEEZ.
hello brother lawrence, mary rose o'reilly, jim butcher, robin hobb...and there is one on parenting that i want to read but can't seem to pick up. i think its because it wants me to stop yelling and if i could do that work, i believe i would already have done it. good god.
so there it is.
for my 40th birthday, i want to go spend a week at a nunnery. do you think that is plausible? with three young kids and a nice but not saintly husband? man, i pine away for church 5 times a day. pining.
allright, okay. done.