Thursday, July 17, 2014


I'm all bagged out and not writing these days.  Its happening faster and faster, all the time, this summerpassage.  I haven't even had time to complain, and the first half is winding down.  shoot. This summer has been so busy and manic and emotional and upheavel-y... its that whole 'first year' withoutmy dad stuff, first birthday, all that... plus my tomatoes are ripening and somedays i feel like i've got noone to tell. and i'm aware that i'm romanticizing my relationship with my dad and that sucks. i can't go changing it now.  it had its ups and downs, and i liked him a lot and sometimes didn't.  its not as if i'd be only telling my dad about the tomatoes. its just not true.  there is always something else going on, and i'm heading to another baseball tournament tonight and i gotta tell you how wrongly these men are setting up sports these days... mothers need to be a bit more vocal about simply not allowing baseball to be a three season sport, or not allowing three games in one day on a hot july sunfest. just Not allowing it. . . i'm afraid i'm seen as 'not a team player' or a 'pansy' for giving my kid water over the fence during an inning shift, i'm afraid my complaints or worries about the 3rd game are seen as insults/criticisms of the other mothers.  i'm afraid of how often i am afraid of things like that... and then i realize i must not be too afraid, because i continue on... and i am pretty sure that we'll be skipping this tournamentseason next year... i do not want the entire family life to be centered on one person, or one sport, or one strive.  we are a multiply talented group, with multiple needs and desires, and we should all be fed.  obviously, i've been in the mothergame long enough to know that there ARE sacrifices.  but, also obviously (to me),  i know that game has limited benefits and returns and that the quip 'if mama ain't happy, nobody happy' is a very strong truth. 

and i'm a bit awonder at how much all of this is about the dads. 'coaches' getting mad at their kids for striking out?  woah. 
i think its like getting too involved in a tv sport. its some sort of misplaced energy, a misdirected emotion. . .
i donno. ... i'm sure someone has studied it and has all the answers.  somewhere. 
but its summer, and i'm not looking anything up.  the kids're going to watch too much tv, do some craftprojects and be forced to try reading more and more each day.  so be it. 

off to baseball, on a wing and a 'prayer'... fingers crossed.


Corinne Cunningham said...

Oh my goodness... I have no patience for the sporting world... so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that my kids still have no interest later on ;) It's just so much work! I would be giving water over the fence as well!

MotherOfGooses said...

I love that "but its summer, and i'm not looking anything up. "...that says it all.