Saturday, March 21, 2015

GAH. you want to hack something?

you wanna hack something?  hack a piece of wood into splinters using an ax that really, in all truth, is too heavy for you.  and while you are basically dropping this incredibly dangerous thing into a stack of wood?  dodge the fucking chickens. -because they are back to living on the porch because it has snown.  ( i assume this is not a word, but it should be. snown.)

big digression:
there aren't any life 'hacks'. just life and we only get through it, some better than others, but we all end up in the same place no matter how hard we work.  better enjoy some of it.

back to the point:
but in my heart of hearts, i know that winter's back has been broken, and so this snown feeling is allright. i know spring is around the corner because i ordered plants to arrive in the mail, and i accept the responsibility of digging holes no-matter- what- is- happening, on the day they arrive.  it'll be good to have a drive, a hole to dig, repercussions to follow.
percussions, drums...
wild jungle calls...
my hubsJ.
my husband wants more from me: more variety in the food i make, more enjoyment of life in general, more gratitude for what i have.

i don't think of myself as a complainer really, so some of this takes me aback.(because i believe he must have heard me complaining, thus, i must be complaining. either that, or he's developed a freaky case of mind-reading which means we are totally doomed. ?)  plus, i hate to cook [its even more complicated than 'hate' and its so lame that i don't really understand my deeply rooted antipathy towards this necessary part of my daily life ]   and cannot easily imagine adding more dishes to my repertoire, unless they come from the freezer section, which would really probably make me feel bad to serve my family. blagh.  i don't really know what the whole deal is with my cooking and the stress i feel about it.   i spend an awful lot of time dealing with food, shopping it, getting it ready, having it lying about for the hungry urchins, prepping meals, setting tables, timing things, and all that.  there's a whole canned goods section in my house, for goodlordsake.
in my house!

there are people in my life who are wonderful cooks, namely most of the people in hubsJ's family, and hubsJ himself.  they seem to love it, get off on the glory of big production meals, feel connections between food and love and sustenance and all that.  they use vegetables and things like beans casually, and to good result.

this is not me.  hubsJ even suggested i take a class.  i wish we were in therapy, because i would so make this worth an episode. ;)

i'm thinking about looking at a cookbook.  this may be the end of the world.


MotherOfGooses said...

It really is more complicated than hate, isn't it? Cooking can be grueling and I noticed that when the kids were away for a few days, take up so much time. I skipped cooking those days, subsisted on peanut butter, and it was sublime. Spring is on its way, no matter how muffled its voice!! Thanks for that!

Kate Hall said...

yep, muffled is a good way to describe spring around here. although in today's sun, i heard a few yelps...:)