Friday, January 9, 2009

Liar Liar Pants on Fire

My three year old thought about lying to me today...

I watched the notion pass through his face, so transparent, like my own. What HAD he done to his brother? WHY was Elijah crying? hmmm...

so much for innocence?! yikes, what a week it has been for him, there must be something happening with the stars or the moon or somesuch. He almost ran into traffic during a wild bid for freedom, I was sprinting fullspeed to catch him and believe it or not, he's never done anything like that to me. When I did make it to him, he stopped, we crashed and almost hit that selfsame traffic. wonderbar. He ran from me three times that day, the traffic-near-miss being #3. We made it home safely and I reclined on the sofa while he went on with his life (which I granted him, begrudgingly).

AND I am on some sort of rollercoaster, reliving events of a year ago- as pertains to my hearing loss - and when I say reliving, I am being exact. Sweeps of memory are just taking over my walking life and I"m having a hard time dealing with my fears of the actuality of it happening again. I'm not sure what I will do and I do not feel in a strong spot to face it. And I don't know how long I can go on expecting it to happen each morning, I can feel the pressure on my heart even as I type.