Tuesday, June 9, 2009

cringe, float and drift

To look back on the last few weeks postings is a cringe-worthy project. really. I have been so genuinely upset for so long, its amazing how definitively I have moved spaces. Ask me next month where I find myself, but for now I am definitively moved. MOVED. as in, whats the new address?

I can wait to get to heaven, but it is definitely not fearful. I only have a little while that my children are so young, and I should pull it in and up and get on with the love of it. I may get frown lines but they may be balanced by my laugh lines, if I work on it. (see crazed hyena mom in the corner)

God is good and great and works in mysterious and obvious ways.

I love my hands. They rock and swaddle and bathe and lift. I love my husband's skin for all its pinkyIrish lustre. He and I commune about dirt. There isn't anybody else who'd answer me that way. No body.
Nothing is perfect and there is a lot around here that exemplifies that - but- what of it? I have a messy house and two messy kids and a messy marriage and I don't vacuum enough and my kids know they are loved by a hairy, frowning, singsongy woman who makes a mean lasagna. I love this. and I am sad, and I still love this.