Monday, May 14, 2012

Today is Monday.

Sure as hell is.  What was a very long week of headaches and blugh and sick in strange places, all of it mine own, ended with a whimper and a, a nice kiddisplay of food, a family visit with grandparents and sitting with my feet up... and now today is Monday.  Kid one is in school after a violent struggle, Kid two watches Scooby, and KidinUtero sits calmly without waves of nausea... always good.  On Thursday I leave for my retreat at the Nunnery. So soon.  I feel already checked out a little bit, as if a 'reserve' now will make the leaving easier, making HubsJ more prepared for the solo parenting that I do all day, every day... I'm not sure it works that way, but it is something that I fall into without any thought, so ... it has begun.  I'm not sure what to bring, what to pack, what to read.  I'll bring a bible because, hello, they might not have one there.  (?) ... and what else? warm clothes for cool nights, cool clothes for garden work, sweater for early mass. . . pajamas. . . toothbrush.  books. journal. cellphone for tucking the kids in at night, should they even approach 'bedtime' bedtimes. . . part of the reserve is a suspension of control... what i won't know won't kill me, or even bother me.  For instance, bedtimes... who cares?  I wish HubsJ well getting them up in the morning if they are up too late, but I'm sure he'll manage something, even if its a world of difference from what I do.  it'll all be fine.  and I'll be away, doing something a world away. . . even if bored and unable to sleep, the new environment sits in its newness like a gift, a brown paper package tied up with string. . .
the idea of four days wherein I do not have to find any shoes but my own, I do not have to pack a snack, I do not have to even look at the laundry piles, I do not have to think of the things I have not done, the things I have to do.  
All of a sudden, I am ready. 


Jen said...

I am so excited for your retreat. I hope you get all from it that you are hoping for. Don't worry about the kids, Dad will take care of him in his own way. Which, at our house, is totally different than Mom's way. And oddly enough it always works out.

MotherOfGooses said...

Only have to find your own shoes. That's a retreat in itself!