these things...

i might need to be medicated.

1. i can't get in touch with chakra carol and so i'm convinced that she has died because death is all i can see around me, the futility of life in the face of it, the inevitability of isolation.

2. wine does not work.

3. i am not a good time girl.

4. i literally barked at my husband in cynicisitic rage.  no, i don't think that is a word either.

5. losing my faith has made me feel more lonely than I ever would have believed. 

6. tigerscouts is rolling around again.  shit. caucophony, is all i can say. 

7. is being medicated like going through life a little stoned?  i always said i didn't want to get through that way but i am worried my anxiety is growing into something unmanageable.

8. i can even be anxious on a beach.  and that is sort of heartbreaking.

9. i'm scared of women.  don't care much for men, as a general rule.  but boy, i am intimidated by women.

10.  today's dinner is supported by a new store i discovered, after following numerous rumors.  hello, bags and bags of frozen soups.  ( and a bread, and a bean and cheese quesadilla for the one who won't eat anything else.)

11. laundry ad more laundry and then more.

wanted to end at eleven, so did. 

cheers.