Thursday, September 18, 2014

Tigerscouts in hell.

Last night was the informational night for the cubscouts.  The middle is deep in thrall to all things 'turtle' and was told that they look for turtles and so now i believe i am conscripted into one of the damndest levels of hell that dante skipped over.  bastard.
the problem is not what i had originally thought, that i was too judgemental about skinny fathers who smell of smoke and whos kids can't run.  its not.  its not the class issue that i berated myself for, its not the distaste for uniforms, social order based on hierarchy, 'family-building' which happens outside the family, splitting the family up for one night a week. 
its these things:

1. 6:30 at night, for an hour. 
2. little or no 'control' of kids behavior.  They sit for 30 minutes doing an 'activity' and then they run.  i love my kid to have fun, i love it.  but at 7:30? i'm almost dead at this time, and i need to keep all things quiet and calm.
2. a large cavernous church hall is impossible to hear anything in and i need a decompression chamber in order to calm myself afterward. seriously, last night i was in tears when i got home because i don't know how i am going to contribute to the social life of my middle.  he gets shafted out of so many things. i say it really really rarely, but yesterday i said ' i just want to hear'. . . it would make this shit a whole lot easier to handle if i could hear the parents and grownups around me and converse like a normal person.  its almost like i'm the only person speaking creole in the room and so i'm lost. its heartbreaking and it would be easier if i wore a sign.  ALMOST DEAF. APPROACH WITH CAUTION. (or compassion, whichever comes easier.)
2. lots of twos.
2. I've got the toddler with me, like i did when the eldest tried this out. this means it is a total and complete waste of time for me to be there and yet i am supposed to be there all the time to promote the 'bond'.
3. i don't like the quotes and statistics that they put up on the board about how noone gets scholarships and scouts keeps kids off drugs.  i know noone gets scholarships but that isn't why kids play sports, right? and PLAY is the operative word. AND i think drugs and the role they play in our future is not up to us as much as we think.  we all do our talks and love our kids and stay involved with them, and keep our fingers legs and toes crossed.  because we all know how it can go. so we cross them starting yesterday.
4. i don't want to ask hubsJ to do this, because he is already doing a soccer practice directly beforehand and would then be overstretched. 

oh my god. uniforms.
(my kid LOVES this part. costume.)

(really nice people, yes, some REALLY nice people. some of them i have met in situations where i could actually HEAR them so i know they are nice, good, eggs.)