this is astonishing, and so NEW. and its a sunlight in the greenleaved spring slow-to-warm awakening. as if time has slowed down, and my head turns ponderously to look about. and that light, it is all about...
i can't believe i'm coming out of the fog of early childhood. and, as always, the one who plays the mother is walking on her own. why is this? is it a characteristic of the female to not be able to share? or is it a mirage? OR, is there some truth in it? the interdependence of the mother and the children... true interweavings...that seem to be the domain of me in this game, and its a difference that has seemed obvious for years in the male. NOT that the relationship is less, just not interwoven to the same degree. Male identity has not been so co-opted, so pervasively changed. I'm not complaining, or resenting, just noting the necessity of this woman's need to notice these things, to re-assess her role in her familial role, and to re-examine the parts and pieces that make her up... I'm on it.
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