Thursday, November 10, 2016

Lines and Squiggles

All the posts i've got half-typed, half-thought-out... all in line to be dispersed when i'm more settled in my thoughts and space, when i can make ritual a reality.
All in line now.

Donald Trump is going to be the next president of my country.  It all seems momentarily irrelevant now.

I am a perpetual optimist, in a strange way, as it seems, sometimes, to be an attempt on my part to convince myself of the words coming out of my mouth. and I turn quickly to a belief in checks and balances and what a beautiful system that can be when functioning healthily .
I think immediately to how I can DO more to move through the world with force, as a visible presence and sign of goodness. People need to see goodness in action, goodness as fairness, in clarity... a relief against the skies of the fear and anger that allowed DT to move forward, and now represent us to the world.

I won't tell you that I held my optimism high while walking through the world on Wednesday. I felt like i'd been hit by a truck, had a headache, felt like i'd been sick the day before and was slammed in the recovery. . . Lots and lots of disbelief.  How could a single woman vote for him? How could a single human?  But, the thing is, I do know how.  Fear and anger and believing in fear and anger are the cores of all of it.
But here we are. More than half the country voted against Trump, although electoral college rules the day.  BUT it matters.  More than half the country voted against Trump.

( i include this picture because it is me putting finishing touches on the present that the kids made (with lots of motherly influence) for their dad's 50th birthday. And that's the kind of model I'm talking bout... be that. I may not want to look at him and I may think lots of thinks about the kind of man he has shown himself to be but the kids? Understanding that giving is important, to me, but also to take a minute to think about what will be loved by someone else, regardless of small feelings... humanity is bigger than divorce, right? ((Full disclosure: he was touched to receive it and i utterly rejected that i had anything to do with it...)) but larger is still there...))

Be that. Be the model of what you want to see in world.  We can all do that.  
And we will be called to in the next four years. . . Loudly.