Saturday, November 26, 2016

Sort it, shake it.

I'm trying to sort out something I think.

What is the interplay between feeling and brain?  I don't mean mild feelings, the ones that pass like lightning: annoyance, irritation, frustration... they aren't necessarily mild but they dissipate fairly quickly and the feelings i'm talking about are the sweeping ones... the ones in which your body is consumed.
Its not all fairy dust.
Anger, Love, Thrill, Fear, Hilarity, Joy, Grief

Big Ticket Items. When you feel them, they leave an impression in the air as you move through the world, right? You can see them in other people usually, even if you can't figure out which of the feelings you are seeing.

With those big ones, what is the brain doing? Can I think my way out of it? Is there some sort of control exerted? IS there a hierarchy within my body in which the brain and the feelings battle ? Is there a glass ceiling? Are there autocrats at the top? Practicality, Self-Preservation. Office workers. Suits.

You want to paint something. You are driven. Your hands are shaking with the desire. Before you make it to the paint, you realize there are people living with you.  You sit down and make your kids do their homework. You throw chicken nuggets at them and get in the car for basketball practice. Brain wins. Where does that shake go?

I feel like someone should be the boss, in there.  And i fear the 'consensus-needing-non-profit-committee-forming' nature of things, and worry that without a clear boss the chaos i feel will just keep rolling on.

What do you think?
I'm going to take my coffee outside and sit for a while on the porch.  Maybe I'll come up with something.  What will I use to figure it out? My brain? My feelings?

Strange post, yes.
Sort it. Shake it.