Thursday, April 8, 2010

struggle struggle guffaw, part two

believe it or not, there was a part one... i had to go look it up to see what it was. it was much funnier than this one. . . my mind must be on a much wider loop than I thought. although this time i am not cracking myself up so much as just simply cracking up. oh hell .
today was the first actually HOT day of the year. we pulled out the kiddy pool and dodged the yard's debris to run barefoot in the huge mud puddle surrounding the leaky blue plastic disc. yep, just what the yard needed, a little mud.
just in case you were wondering, it HAS been a bit damp around here. my four year old dumped a cup of water onto the steps of the basement and I nearly choked. . .
then i put my feet in the coldness of the pool and it was almost as good as a beer.
and then, after our group moment of bliss, the heat sent the children straight to hell and i honestly, joined them after much resistance and we all beat the crap out of each other. I must say, my 'beating the crap out of...' involves one spank. BUT#1: i wanted to throw the elder into the wall. BUT#2-- i was pummelled. many times, throughout the afternoon, evening and bedtime... at the slightest hitch, in a sometimes passionless manner!, by BOTH my kids, the younger learning from watching the elder.
so... all you crazy feminists out there, (and by that, i mean, thinking, breathing, women.) how do you maintain equanimity in this situation? how do you keep your cool ? with the hitting thing, i think one must be directly involved, no hiding in the bathroom, etc... except when I AM LOSING MY MIND... but one time, in the very early years of my innocence in mothering, i wrote the question to a mama website 'how do you keep your cool with your kids?'... whoooowee. all the answers pertained to how to discipline my kids, how to get THEM to keep their cool, how bad a mother i must be to spank or not timeout or To timeout, etc. . . all of which i now know to be a great dodge and not to mention, an emotional impossibility for a four year old (keeping one's cool, that is) ... J. no help at all , got home late, at the very end of my rope, except that he dragged the elder to bed. which was something.
what say YOU? wiser bunch? hm.


Amanda said...

Hubby and I always coveted the "PI" for unpleasant behaviors. "Planned Ignore" . You say nothing, give no response, turn around and leave the room without a word. Consistently. Upon behavior.

Try it for a couple days,kkids no likey when you ignore them.

Little bastards. (not yours, just kids in general)

Viv said...

Kids are just like big folk. Each one of them requires something different to curb a behavior. There *are* children whose attention cannot be gained by methods that don't include a swat on the tush. Period. Not always, of course. There is a time and a place for it in my mind though. I can sit my three year old in timeout, it is not effective unless he is in the mood to comply, he will get up if I am not sitting with my arms around him. If I hold him, I risk being hit, bitten, and kicked. If I ignore the behavior...he steps it up. Which is okay, for say yelling. If he is hitting a sibling though, allowing him to be more aggressive isn't an option. So...we have the swat on the tush. It is an immediate attention getter. He stops the behavior to scream and cry...not in pain, but, in pure pissed off-ness. Thus, the baby is saved from his blows and my eyes don't get gauged out. Am I in the right? I think so.

Jen said...

Oh Wise Viv. I love your words. They are smart and effective. There is a spot just above the elbow that if pinched just right will bring any child to his/her knees. My mother did it, I do it. Accompanied by an extremely mean pursed lip face it is quite effective. Do not let your children hit you. You are bigger and stronger and a hell of a lot smarter. There is a cute mom on my street who has actually puts her children in a cold shower until they understand that their behavior is inappropriate. Okay? I don't know, but it's working for them. I do know yelling does not work. Everybody stops listening. Please check my post tomorrow, I cannot believe you broke out the kiddie pool. You gotta be shittin' me.
If I lived nearby I would come over and make a margarita for you!