this child in my lap has finally found a moments rest. not asleep, but still, nursing with one hand tucked over my collar and down to my skin. she's not even technically nursing, but drifting one hand along my waistlined flesh, back and forth, eyes open to the world.
just moments ago she, who nursed last maybe 8 minutes ago, was distraught. kicking, screaming, wounded by the universe, she would not be tamed. i always think she is going to hurt herself inadvertently, giving us an actual ACTUAL, identifiable problem. seems it might be a relief, to know what is going on. she is a dream, these are but fleeting moments, really. and i am so glad that i have been able to nurse these babes, to have the flesh-contact be the answer sometimes.
yes, she has been trying to eat the jade plant. yes, it probably is not that good to eat.
now the eyes are closed. her own thumb has replace my skin, and we wait while i gird my loins for an attempt at laying her down. i can never make the decision quickly. it is a much larger philosophical problem, really. after all, do i rest as i am? do i change the scenario and get all my 'tasks' accomplished. do i write the rest of this thing, end it quickly?
heh.
i have decided NOT to the the NONOMOPO writing challenges that belong in November. I look forward to reading what people write, as they get to it... but I am trying to be somewhat realistic with my time and abilities... Its too bad really, because I love getting feedback, and i even like the actual writing... but there it is. first, i have to get over the all-day field trip coming up on the 1st ... talking with strangers all freaking day. its going to kill me, possibly. if i drank, i would command a bottle at the end of it all. but. no.
i hope some of my friends of the ethers will be writing. please do. its good for us all. c'mon...
allright. i'm making the move to put her down. keep your fingers crossed.
(just realized i don't know how to spell sayonara? )
sticking with italian,
ciao!!
COLOURED TELEVISION, by Danzy Senna
9 hours ago
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