Wednesday, September 22, 2010
And therein lies a rub. I feel badly because someone else might feel badly or be disappointed in me. How does one enter into a life of peaceful awareness and an attempt at non-judgementalness and maintain that awareness in the face of what is 'wrong'? If there is no duality, how does one make change? if nothing is 'wrong' vs. 'right', how does one decide what to do with activism? or even (the more simple?) taking care of the kids in the neighborhood? We have a little boy (j) who comes to the door all the time to play. all the time, 8 am and 8 pm. And I let him in every day, as well as two of his sisters, and I feed them and I do what I can to let them be. We have discovered that the rule of three must need apply, three warnings and then go home, we'll try again tomorrow. The boy is too rough, very demanding, very loud, and doesn't have the innate sense of play to recognize that you can't play rough with the one in diapers. . . my five year old sometimes needs a break from this 'play'! its true, he even asks for a day off from j once in a while. really. and i give it.
IF I am not judging... and there is no wrong/right debate, whats the problem?
Where do you stand when your kids are potentially at risk? Am I really doing a mine vs. yours, with kids? Kids? !
What're my priorities for the world if I decide to ban this play? to stop feeding this brood?
I am trying to keep my eyes open wide, to pay attention to what is before me, surrounding me and how I am moving through it. I am confused.
I've read a book called Simplicity Parenting ( find your own link, i am flustered...) in the hopes that I can give or provide more quietude to C when he gets off the school trip, so there will be more balance in his space. Less wilderness of 'stay at your desk', less clutter, less noise, more running, more peace...
what, then, do I do with j? a being not at peace, not of quietude, interjected into what i egotistically think i am 'creating' in my home? what are my big pictures?
Do i invite the kids for dinner when there might not be enough ? what the hell is enough?
Posted by Kate Bowie at 1:55 PM