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Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Grow or Do not grow

what are the chances you'd be comfortable making the choice not to grow? what are the chances? what is your comfort level with that one?

All over the interwebs, and because it is spring, all over the whole entire world around me, there are signs and discussions of change and growth and bloom and grow, bloom and grow forever...
you get me some adelweiss?  yes?
I'm always telling my kids to eat their foods in order to grow.  AM I eating the foods I need to grow? how much asparagus can a girl handle? salmon? pbbt. how many cookies? hm. ohm.
I'm moving fast and furious today because I am very impatiently awaiting the arrival of a new sewing machine from a nice brown ups man.  uniform, skin unknown at this point. . .

so excited. can't believe I'm getting a new sewing machine, so so crazy excited.  I have projects waiting... pulsating with desire to get finished... (the delivery man? turns out it was one of the very in-between colors of skin, so i count him as both and all... )

grow grow grow.
what stops that from being the primary mandate? when we have babies we just want them to survive and thrive and grow grow grow.  why aren't we demanding the same for ourselves? and when we do wake up and demand some re-growth, what does that look like?
If i am blind, let me see Lord, let me see.  If I am stunted, let me breathe deep and send out a new shoot.  If the rut is too deep, let me have tools... I found a book on the kitchen table this morning for kids, a book about accepting change, it was funny, I'll read it to my kids this afternoon.  when the girl thinks big, her hair changes color... a good change, a perspective change on 'change'... I have read lately so many things on growth, change, choice, discomfort and where it springs from... too many choices? denial of the reality that 'we are okay', 'we have plenty', 'we are provided for'... ?

there is an entire corner of my side yard which is left to the butterflies, it is just now beginning its push through the hay of last year's corner, getting ready to burst (in a literal fashion) and team with life.  These guys are not dithering about whether or not to grow.  They are on with it.
I want to be on their team.

4 comments:

amyontheroad said...

Oh, man. This one got to me. In a cut-the-complacency, find-some-inspiration kind of way.

wifemotherexpletive said...

AMY! how goes?! where have you been and what has been changing/ inspiring since last i heard from you?

amyontheroad said...

Finally managed to get myself in a family way! But being sick for 14 weeks straight has zapped my energy and put all my big plans in a holding pattern. Hoping to turn a corner soon and start DOing again! Even mopping the bathroom floor would feel like growth.

wifemotherexpletive said...

WAHOOOOOOO! even cheering for the sickness, which while it can be debilitating, is usually shortlived.... and all of it means a baby. a baby! forget the floor, lady, just look away! buy yourself some bonbons. :)