It is interesting, now that there is no man in this house. It is. There is so much more space for me, for my femininity to expand, for my heart to burst on a regular basis. In the bursting, I am finding more and more of that space, that stretch into what i was, both ten years ago, when blisses and innocence started to be eroded by his issue, and when I started to withdraw into what i thought was the way to handle it... and now i know, it was the way i chose, but it wasn't the only possibility, and i am so sad for the way it has turned out, for all of us.
and there is no way in the world i will apologize for this wildness. or ever, even for one second, change the way i have handled this absorption into a more true universe. perhaps there is a archetypal feminine in me afterall. the primordial ooze.
there is no Atlas. there is simply Mother.
and I am she.