Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Empty to Fill

We are getting ready again to get ready again , yes, to prepare the house. This morning was painting a door and a windowsill to cover the blemishes I have lived with fairly happily for five years.  The amount of time I've spent thinking about renting a storage unit is perverse. downright.  And I'll probably end up with one, the books, my friends, the books. . . for the observers believe books to be clutter. Anyone who has a soul must believe that to be false. (aha!! do you think i am judging? YES, YES... ) but still, I am having a difficult time with feeling penned in by the sheer mass of what we have, sometimes thinking I'd take wing if I just didn't have all these possessions. . . not to leave the family but just to be light, to live lightly here. What are all these things that we have collected.  AS i sit, I can look at the piles next to me and list them for you: bible, Jung, cd, checkbook, unplugged alarm clock, questionable nightlight, new journal, old bill, rubber band, hairclip, incense, bank book, tax collections, old stationary giraffe that I love, matchbook, (and again, all that, times 100.)
I am feeling the need to clean house, to put things in their place, to toss, to clear, to burn away the old, the holds... this heaviness in the feet, the too-big boots clomping... travel lightly, k, travel lightly.... its a whisper in the air... a cardinal in the snow...


Mama Mama Quite Contrary said...

I have the same purge and move-on feeling once a day. Do you think that's healthy?

Jen said...

I try to tell my self it's healthy to have the purge sensation. Then I remind myself it's got to be something deeper. Why do I lack a sense of control? Why do I gather when I should shed? What am I missing? I hate the uneasiness that comes with possessions and my home....I am working on it.

On the other hand, there is nothing I enjoy more than staging a home for sale. It gives you hope and control. have fun with it!