CLICK HERE FOR BLOGGER TEMPLATES AND MYSPACE LAYOUTS »

Monday, March 7, 2011

Angels in the outfield...

I'm taking C, the psychotic 5, to see Chakra Chakra C this week.  Over the weekend I was literally crying in my bed while he tore the house apart. He screams, talks smack (where he learned that?!), throws, hits, wants to 'hurt'... tries to lift tables off the ground and throw them, etc. etc...  I can't find my sense of humor to be silly with him, and I DO think that works, if I can shock him out of his rage - he has a great appreciation for silly and odd, the cutie- but I've had a hard time accessing the humor because I'm so flipped out about the whole thing.  I waver between thinking its the age of testing boundaries, entering 'kid-hood' and not early childhood and the requisite desires and abilities that fall into the next stage of childhood and the fear/anxieties that come in that transition... so, waver between that feeling and the feeling that something, somewhere is going horribly wrong and I am responsible for finding an answer and all my prayers are not yielding an answer I can handle so far (I will get some kind of answer, but still... I'm only human and I've got no idea as of yet as to what it is. none. )
*Hubs J and I are working together pretty well and both feeling the shell-shock, so that part is good, the sharing I mean...
I'm flipping out. so, off he will go to chakra c's ... then a more mainstream shrink if need be. maybe i'll jsut get him to start smoking pot.  maybe i'll just take him into a church and see if he bursts into flames ...
joking. joking.
sort of.

it'd be nice if i could see angels,  get them into my huddle. I need some help.

4 comments:

Still Life With Coffee said...

5 was the toughest for me with my oldest. I ended up making a 'shrine' for him. PIctures and stuff of him when he was a baby and up to age 5 that I put on a dresser in my room...so that when I was ready to ship him away, I would look at it, and relax and just love him. He must be a very smart and sensitive little boy. those kind really test their mamas. <3

wifemotherexpletive said...

I think the shrine idea is good, if only to get myself to chill out before tossing him to the wolves. :) thanks.

Viv said...

My heart goes out to you. With my 4 year old, those days used to be each and every day. Time and a revamped diet have helped a lot...but, I do remember all too well.

Noel said...

Kate, I feel for you. Helen was like that at that age. Her out of control rages weren't all the time but quite often and sometimes at school. Waldorf thinks some of that comes from the child's awareness that they are truly leaving the semi magic spirit world of early childhood and beginning to grasp that they and their parents are really distinct entities. But they can't explain any of that, of course. Her teacher suggested Bach's flower rescue remedies which helped some. Helen would also allow me to wrap up with her physically in a blanket on the couch or bed and sometimes she could regain control that way. It's not you Kate and it's not your imagination. Try to do something nice for you while your working so hard at taking care of Cole. I'm sending you a big hug.