Thursday, April 21, 2011


hello, 70s show shout-out. I do love Wisconsin. i do. I love it for being so mind-blowingly different from where I am right now.  I love the accent in the middle of the country up there. I love my Pamela Jo who lives out there and teaches me so much about the ways of the wisconsin.  and i love cheese. and I love the Packers, and the whole city of Green Bay for showing that profit-sharing and local things are really the best way to do it all, even football.
cheese. again. love.
but that is the end of my posting on wisconsin, for today.

I have been having that feeling, that as far as my parenting goes, I'm hovering at the edge of something vague and nameless and bad.  You know that feeling?  The suspicion that whatever you have fooled yourself into believing about your children or your control over your children may be just a bunch of crackpipe fantasy? I have the feeling that I am that mom, the one everyone at the school points to as they're leaving with their well-organized children... 'see, there they go again... if she could just Control them.... why does she let them do that sort  of thing... what is she thinking?... she's totally out of her element with them...'
My kids don't get in trouble at school. seem pretty happy in general when they are not tantruming in a wierdly mysterious and angry fashion.  right.
see the rub?
The grandmother of the quiet boy next door came to drop him off for play this afternoon, and says to me, 'you have to tell him you are the boss'.  this is from the middle of nowhere to my front door conversation. nowhere . now.   there is a language barrier and a hearing barrier, but i'd put 50 bucks down that I got it right.
so now I have to spend my days thinking about why she would have said that to me, what my childrearing skills look like to others and why the hell it matters so much. because it does. it does.
ah. ha. aaah.

but I do love wisconsin. (i prefer unions to no-unions but whatever, i'm an american, i can feel how i want...)


Anonymous said...

that 70's show is rad (as well as Jackie Chan)
but Wisconsin, eh, maybe it's changed since I've last been there in 96.

jess said...

My first thought was that it was him, not you. Maybe he's only quiet at other people's houses. :)