The youngest, the runner, the recently 4... is a maker of traps, of so many kinds that it is almost inconceivable how easy it is to lapse into metaphor. There is string involved, and tape and the objects of the day... and the badguys are invisible and have never yet fallen into their pits of doom, but it seems to be fairly irrelevant which suits me also, to a T.
It is rainy and cold here, but not enough to freeze and give us snow. just muck, and chill. and I slept like crap last night, and I'm not sure why but i do know it was compounded by the early arrivals of the two boys into the space which can't support their lank anymore... so - complaint complaint, blagh blah... everything is fine, i'm on reserves but thats a regular beat... and what have you?
I'm making a stew in the slow cooker, for which I doubled the meat portion to suit my protein happy boys and man. realized the MAN won't be home til very late, after we are all abed and if he doesn't lead the protein pack, the boys will eat very little so now I will have leftovers for way too long. and its fine, but I make things like stew and meatloaf to satisfy and possibly satiate hubsJ and when he is not here, I would be fine with a bagel and an egg. so there is that. but it certainly will smell good as it cooks today. certainly.
In between the times of extreme boredom I am productive in a weird way, and only in typing it do I realize it to be true. Sometimes it is the slowmotion nature of the day that gets to me the most. The constancy with which I pay attention and try to distract myself and their interplay can make such an exhaustion that I get to the end of the day and remember nothing of it whatsoever. My one 'task' today is the visit to the grocery store... and it is a battle to get the boy dressed, a battle to complete a fort/building/house/dam ... ah. complaint, complaint. blaghu. accchhhhuuuuu...
bless you too...
its all fine, and I mean it.. I just need to remind myself... its all fine. no trap. just the way that it is right now. no trap.
COLOURED TELEVISION, by Danzy Senna
5 hours ago
0 comments:
Post a Comment