Friday, April 22, 2016
I'm sitting outside on the back deck, listening to birds and traffic, rehashing innocuous things I may have said to J., and having leftover Chinese and a bottle of beer. I think I'm hearing robins and a cardinal and more. The chickens are slowly making their way to the coop, and the cat keeps jumping into the air in attack/surprise mode. There never seems to be any cause. I have painted today, in preparation for painting tomorrow, and I am trying very hard to feel like a superpower in the world, instead of the one for whom all does not go well. The fight is on for my self-esteem when I am alone, and I am frequently overwhelmed with aimlessness. My hands are looking old, but it is color, and it is dirt, as I have gardened and planted and spread the possibility for growth, all around.
Aimless? Holy shit. Are we all? Are some people really like heat-speaking missiles instead of roaming ones? I'm all over the freaking map. It is truly disconcerting.
Today is Friday. Legend has it that I am not supposed to post because no one reads on the weekend. I do. A lot.