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Friday, April 15, 2016

wax and wane, mofo.

this week the laundry machine broke. i looked it up to fix it, and realized there is no way in hell i could reliably do this myself.  fine. paid 'the man'.
this week the vacuum cleaner broke.  I fixed it myself. damn 'the man'.
this minute, the fucking pipe outside broke and water was everywhere. we are flooded. outside.
i know how to shut the water off, but not how to fix a fucking pipe. dropped my phone in the deluge whilst talking to the soon-to-be-wealthier 'man'.

these are ups and downs, and halves.  i am not feeling overly lucky these days.
i did make it through a whole baseball game with j, not without upset, but through. it will be harder when all the extended families are there, next time.  he is so good at pretend, it is downright disconcerting.  i deeply fear that he may not be pretending, and he may just be unbothered by all of this. and that is really freaking me out.

but the coldness of the game is done.

onto sunnier days and visitations with 'the man'.

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