Monday, December 8, 2008

chakras and the joke within

I haven't figured out a way to talk about them without feeling all goofy and wacked out. I have been seeing a woman who does something akin to reiki and cranial sacral therapy as well as counseling. She's got some mojo, lets say. And I've been seriously checking in on my chakra stuff. Reading, saying affirmations when I get the chance and so on. I'm a kook? Can't really say that I am, but I am very happy to have found a framework upon which to do some self-explorations, I think its helped me not to fly into the rages that my dad does so often. .. which is helpful to me and to my children. . . inexplicable rages which have no relationship to whatever has just happened. like a cork popping has no relationship to the celebration, just to the bottle's pressure. Slow changes but very important ones. Being a stay at home mom is fraught with perils in terms of self. It is easy to go for days and certainly hours without a second thought to one's self. - and i say that is a bad thing. thinking of yourself is not 'being selfish'. a world of difference and I think that many women have some confusion about that. And, as much as I hate to say it, I think men may have a more healthy relationship to themselves for it. Its just maddening how many times I resent him for it, though. He has an ability to let things ride and to not take it personally that children cannot be redirected from their 'badbehavior' that I cannot handle, when it comes to my two boy children. He's lucky but I sure do resent the hell out of him. baby crying, got to go_