Monday, August 30, 2010

I'm at a loss, and linking up...

Big Kid starts Kindergarten this week, the orientation for me and hubs is tomorrow.  I am much in need of some orientation.  I'm all a jumble, and feeling pretty quiet but exhausted and nervous.  I'm very curious, as well.  What sort of changes are in store for us?  What is this gigantic influence on C going to mean for our family unit?  I'm in a fall sort of mood, ready to make bread and cookies, wear pants and pile on sweaters, and the weather is still not cooperating with my internal system. . .

There is a world of suggestion out there currently, making it more and more plain to me that little insignificant distractions are keeping me from the bigger, more important LIFE.   C.S. Lewis has a book called 'the screwtape letters' and if memory serves, it is a conversation between the 'big bad' and a lesser demon about how to keep folks from the fairly easy and clear path to G-d. Guess what the big plan is?  distraction.
simple, tiny, irritating distraction.  When having a moment of silence, all that blather that your brain makes you sit through...
I keep thinking about this... as regards the phone you attach to your hip at all times, twits... heh, internet, tv, cable, tapeyourshows so you can watch them whenever, childrearing, digital/analog, etc.
There have been lots of articles lately: the Times, the magazine SUN, which focuses on an excellent interview with a man trying to
encourage more quietude in the section of Oregon where he lives... it is not in an online version yet or i would link to it... it is actually on paper. YES. paper. 
I'm also reading this book Radical Homemakers, and feeling personally challenged to feel better about how I live. 
I'm also reading about the Brow Chakra...  (so many spelling errors on this site, it is sort of remarkable and I enjoy seeking them out...)
I'm also gearing up to meditate on a regular basis and sort of spinning in my mind about how/when where to do it and what my space should look like and - see how distracting it is, when starting is the simplest thing?
hm. Everything seems to be pointing me in the same direction, wave upon wave. 
I am hoping i'm in the right waters. J is on board with me, and that is a nice feeling and a good beginning.
I'm going overboard internally on the need to simplify, get rid of, work harder to get back to 'enough' and not keep looking around for 'more'.  It can actually feel like some sort of battle, to spend days trying not to spend any money, especially when it is actually sitting in your pocket.
I have officially unplugged the cable box. It is in a heap of connecting wires on the bookshelf.  I am keeping the dvd player, though, our nightly 'show' must go on...
keep me in mind these days.  Soon the kids will realize the tv is no more. 'on demand' has gone the way of breastfeeding in this house...


Valerie said...

I just found your blog today. I love it. I love this post. So many things I've been feeling myself. So happy to find someone out there thinking similar thoughts!!