Friday, September 2, 2011

All hail the rut is back! ALL HAIL!

we all missed it, you know we did. the painful delusion-creating/fostering rut of mediocrity and complaint which fosters a quickness of wit and a cutting sarcasm. we love it, we hate it, we know it well.
we, being the all and the inclusion of you in the me, which of course is slightly problematic.
the past say, three days, i have been on the computer non-stop.  and when I say non-stop I mean to say so often that the screensaver doesn't always come up, that the log off that happens after fifteen minutes so that the kids can only get with their little fingers does not come up. no. and I've started laundry and 'watched children' and hung laundry on the line and made lunch and given haircuts and so on and so forth.
I'm going to blame the short power outage of the hurricane for sapping me of my will to actually 'live' a quality life.  The big energy shift that occurs with a giant-sized wind? huh. I got a whole lot of 'blow it up your ass' for you. 
(um, not really, in a deep way, but shitcakes ... i am fuming at something that I cannot identify ... and so, blow it up your ass.)

and i ask you this:  what the hell is worth being here all this time for? have i, literally, emptied myself of my resources so much that I cannot even read a book or entertain my mind and/or body with anything that doesn't have qwerty involved? where is the magic potion? where is the fabulously funny? where is it? why am i so damn bored, with all the world at my fingertips and an amazing ability to completely ignore these kids.  (who, by the way, during the formation of this current rut, have been absolute PIGS)  yes, i know, i know, the connection is not exactly lurking in a darkened hallway.  they have been ignored, they have lived like the lord of the flies, i keep expecting to find new totems when i finally pull myself away.

I've made myself a list of things to do that I love so that I can stop stuffing my face with dingdongs here .  but i haven't been accessing the list. And the Bible is sitting on the floor right behind me where i have been ignoring it all day. not even that can pull me away from this laundry lint that i am jokingly referring to as my daily "life".
wtf. LOL. (I HATE these abbreviations with a damn passion. how many people do you think are typing LOL while completely straightfaced? insidious!)  have i already said this? my god, come and get me, i have abandoned all spark of life.

(ehem. and i'm not getting that many comments here i have to resort to facebook and the times. see where i have been living?! it is dark here, dark. )


Jen said...

I hear you on the rut business. I waste too much time looking at nothing and I do get a strange empty feeling after spending so much time wasting. I think that's why I've been lacking topics to write about and resort to bathing my cat!