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Sunday, September 25, 2011

Yeah yah ya. the times, the times. . .

=This weekend I had my writing class, which is not so much the name for what it was... conference? workshop? hm. not so much. but whateve it was, I had one exercise in which I was to write for an hour. an HOUR. no prompt given just have at it... and I was surprised when the time was up.  I wrote for an hour. dude. The workshop-for lack of a better word- was full of funny women and that is always a crackup, I do freaking love the laughing! why don't I remember that more often?   There were 2 men there, but the majority of what was discussed was overwhelmingly female...what are your fears? What do you long for? What is stopping you? Sit the hell down and right. middlings:  I am not good enough, smart enough blahblah, i will be exposed, if i was a good writer, i'd already be writing... if i could just get to the brilliant idea on the tip of my tongue, all would be well, etc.etc. Damn middlings. Its sometimes enlightening and sometimes disheartening to hear the same fears so so often and strong in a group of women. Why and what for do we engage in all this ?  Setting goals that we will fail and berate ourselves for? WHAT?! what're we doing that for? I quit that, just so you know.
There were writing exercises, icebreakers, sandwiches, water bottles.  Sometimes I wonder about all these fancy 'nonwaterbottle' bottles out there.. Are they really so much better than the old plastic bottle?  Don't they all look awfully new to you? How many are being produced? How many do you have? It seems so excessive.  Is yours metal? Where'd the metal come from ? Do you like how that tastes? Do you reuse your actual plastic bottles? whut? huh?  When do we just get to carry our mugs around and drink tapwater wherever we are?
The three women were Patti Digh, Susan Piver, and Jennifer Louden.  They were some of this... southern drawling, misplaced cali cheerleader, meditation practitioner/teacher, graceful faller, grieving daughter, profane, menopausal, grieving mother, support system, wizened warrior writers, genuine, empathetic, excited, sweaty... and there was more and some of it will spill out here in time.... I sort of fell in love with a couple of those women and would have gone to live in their kitchens if they'd invited me.

=This morning I took my family to a Quaker Meeting.  It was a first time for all of us, although we had been on the premises several times for various booksales and concerts and the like.  It was pretty great, once the kids were gone- a lovely and maternal thing to say, yes?  But the kids were in meeting ehem "quiet" for 15 minutes before they left for 'first day school' ... they left and parents stayed and it was pretty great... I got to sit quietly for 45 minutes. that would be, forty five minutes. did you hear the non-deafening silence of that? really.  I studied the other people in the area, winked at a baby, studied the trees out the window nearby. got down with my bad self, without interruption.  This is evidently the normal 'unprogrammed' meeting, there are others with a more scheduled service... but, boy, I liked my alone time with me and my Guy...

=Today I chose to take a bath and be alone and make myself some tea, rather than go kayaking with another family.  I am sure that it is a bit rude.  But here I am, bath achieved, waiting for the tea, and the rudeness is somewhere other than here.   I have goals for this week, I do... I will meditate twice, for at least ten minutes apiece... and I will write, either here or in a journal in three different periods this week, for at least ten minutes as well.  These are goals I can achieve.  And won't that make me feel good about myself? And won't that be a nice change?

freaky, that.

3 comments:

Nancy said...

I am so unimaginably jealous/happy for you. A writing workshop with Patti Digh...sigh...

Can't wait to hear more.

wifemotherexpletive said...

it was pretty great nancy, and if you have the chance you should go, or sign up for her online things... she's very genuine, very very funny and good. also, smart. lovely. lovely lovely.

Jen said...

This post makes me happy. You and your freaky self. You and your self. Good for you and your self!!!!! And you are NOT rude.