I have a kink in my neck. One of the kids kicked me early this morning and my reaction to the kick caused the kink. eh. it is a slight annoyance but again, amazingly, it brings up Fear and its awesome ineffable power. The reason i don't have full swing of my head is that a certain point in the roundabout brings a 'hurt' and so I stop. The fear is that it will hurt more if the head keeps stretching, bending, etc. and so, i just stop.
I have a feeling and a knowing that there is a much larger story there, and I know you can track it down on your own, because it is as simple as this: how much fear does it take to stop us in our tracks? how much fear is based upon make-believe? how much make-believe does it take to stop us in our tracks?
sort of different, yes?
Do you remember in the Madeleine L'engle books, at one point there is a questioning series of ... I think it is Charles ? and the questions are both absurd and pointed and asking him to make weighted the values of different people and to choose lifelimbdeathlife for living creatures of all sorts... I clearly cannot remember the specifics but I sure do remember the generalities.
It is all so absurd and pointed and geared to make us all look at ourselves again and again... all of it. . . all of this.
I remember Charles ? arguing that the questions were absurd and that he couldn't do it, it wasn't making sense. I also remember loving him a bunch. so lovely.
There can be much love amidst the roar of Fear, and perhaps that is what we are supposed to see when we do all this self-reflection/investigation. aye?
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
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Aye.
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