Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Lets detail the rut, shall we? part one...

I am home from a vacation of little routine.  I am a creature of routine, as well as a creature of kin to the ocean.  But the waves are the creators of the original ruts, you see?
this is a rut:  Around 11:30 in the morning, after doing or not doing the chore/activity/swim/park/playdate combination for the day, we are in the car driving towards the homefront.  I am in sugar depravity mode at this hour, and I hunt my soul for the resistance to get myself PAST the drive thrus. and I fail, fail, fail.  Chicken nuggets for all, we squeal.  ( i limit it to once a week, barring catastrophe..)
and this is why it is a significant rut, right here.  I am, by no means, a 'greenie'.  However much I compost, or recycle or try to buy seasonally,  I am counteracting the good that I do in this world by supporting the organization behind the drive thru.  I KNOW. I'm not duped. I KNOW that they are helping to destroy the world and I KNOW that when I go there, I am giving them money to do it.  I KNOW this. and I also KNOW that it is not good for my kids.  If I know all of this, and I have chosen to not smoke cigarettes because it is bad for my kids, then why am i so happy to feed them this bad juju?
AND, while on vacation I bumped into the fact that my sister-in-law feeds her kid better than I feed my kids.  It is complex in that I don't even like half the things that she makes her kid eat, and so I will have a very hard time if I have to eat like that.  How much grain salad can a girl take? HOWEVER, I would like to make it a goal to provide/force on my kids?  opportunity for more food variety, more of the 'whole' choices that exist, especially in the summertime.  (and see how it will help with the above rut? but perhaps crush me by giving me more work, less ease)
AND, while on vacation, I read 'Gift from the Sea', again.  And, while i am still crushed by the middle-agedness of the fact that I remember when my mother gave it to all her friends, and I am daunted by the fact that that was at least 20 years ago... and I remember it.  And what else? the book is still relevant, and in fact, speaks to me of silence and solitude and the need to not spend our energy fruitlessly.  to have purpose, and intention as part of our daily routines, not just the frittering of energy in unseens.
hm, i feel repetitious. 
damn rut.

+i found my camera, so soon will show you the ocean's piece that i got. . .
peace out . . .