Saturday, October 30, 2010

Lying down with the Lions

Daniel in the lion's den was let alone, because he asked G to make it so.  If I lie down with my lions, rest my body, release my 'plight' , and ask..? will it be so?
Can my lions let me alone?

I am not fooled. For ages, I believed my day would come when the boys were both in school and I had the six hours a week to myself.  MY DAY!!
but, it doesn't play that way.  sickness, laundry, bizzybizzy. . . and the time is eaten up. will i forever be looking into the future for the relief? the pleasure?

I don't trick myself into thinking I am overly burdened.  I am not.  I have this life, I get tired of it sometimes, but it is mine and much of what I don't like about it is my own doing, or what I have allowed to be. . .
there is a lot of good in it.  I am thirsty for many things, and much of what the body craves is not infact, very good for the body.  I am not a pregnant body.  Trip trap.

All this work, and I still need help to be still, to feel fulfillment, to get feedback, to look around without judgement and enjoy the hell out of this life in my hands. . . here I am. 
Give me more.