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Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Abundance...

Guess what the opposite of lack is?

Abundance.

Today I have an abundance of cat sht on the reading room chair. really, i do. And the abundance is that I have two cats, new to me this week, and they are learning their sea legs under my care. Perhaps this extra poop in my day will help me decide about having a new baby, which will produce a prodigious amount of poop, for which I will also needs be, do launder and remake beds and so on and so forth.

I am extremely tired and have an anger-hangover, as is my bent.  Last night I was extremely livid (redundant? can one be livid in anything but an extreme way?) and dealing with it in isolation, as HubsJ was elsewhere.  While this is a genetically-achingly-familiar phenomenon, I have been trying to work through it for a very long time and the hangovers are fierce, because I spend a whole lot of time with the self-berating inner voice completing the task of beating myself to smithereens for my current life.  oh, patterns, you really got me going.
And the abundance is? I am safe, I ride the wave of anger like a rockstar, surf style, I am not a child anymore, no one is hurt, its over right now, and I find the space to bless the source of anger and to bless my children and myself and to imagine myself and the anger as finished. finished. handled. FINISHED!
it can be a joyful prayer, to envision life and its waves being peaceful, teeming but peaceful, maybe even exciting, happy and fun. not in some far distant future, but right now.      get.out.of.town.
Who doesn't want more joy?

1 comments:

Monica said...

Oh none for me thanks. Got enough joy as it is.

NOT! Pass me some of that!