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Thursday, October 6, 2011

Peace as a great big hole.

Hey there.   I did a 'writing exercise' yesterday and while i think it was crap, it has given me fodder for today's post, which makes it all an exciting win-win.  I picked out a sentence from one of my first month's postings, and wrote about it, trying to get deeper and thicker and muckier with... both, what i meant and what it could mean.  . . . but also to just get myself writing and flowing and fun actionmama and doing something besides facebook and laundry because they are both sort of futile.  it all just goes round and round, see.
SO, the sentence i had picked out was this:  Nobody says Peace is boring. Do they? --- from December 15, 2008....
AND I went to see Chakra Carol this week and she had been to see Byron Katie (oh my god, her AGAIN?!) and Carol shared some of the sentences she loved so much ... one of them being:  Peace is disturbing. get used to it.

Right? ANyone think maybe it worthy of a blog shoutout to coincidence and noncoincidence? right.

It happens to be frighteningly cold in the house and i refuse to turn on the heat as it is just the first week of October and so my typos may be frightening as well as my fingers are seizing up. true.

so there. There seems to be this idyllic notion that peace makes everyone happy and giggly, all things solved all at once. big healthy trees and granola for all. no more bankers.  and i think, personally, that it is much more turbulent than that.  when you 'solve' or 'release' one of your burdens, a big fat hole opens up in you... all that space in you that you devoted to a drama is now open for other business and I generally have no idea how to go about 'business' and so fill it up with almonds and the occasional tantrum.  For instance, friend Russel fills me with contentment and peace, reminder of wonderful friendship and love and creativity.  And then he leaves, and I am boatrocked in my hole. 
I suppose it isn't the clearest example. 
Do you get my jist?

We are made in the image of God, so they say.  Think how unknowable that is.  And we are unknowable as well, full of spaces we don't understand, corners we can't see around.
What I think is that we are made to have these holes, to be on the lookout for how to live with them. and that ISN'T peaceful.  The search, the work... they are actions. 
sweat may be involved, or crying, or divorce, or tea.  its hard to tell. but movement IS turbulent, isn't it?
right?

2 comments:

Nancy said...

Is this addition by subtraction? Might be. That's what I'm writing about today...just can't get it worked out though. I'll get there.

wifemotherexpletive said...

yep, i think it is addition by way of subtraction. . . a decluttering of expectations? of course you'll get there, you probably are already there.