Thursday, November 3, 2011

My time is running out.

what if my time were running up? what if my biggest and best were yet to come? what if i'm running right smack into my time, right this very second?
what then?

I've been reading a lot about Quakers, because we've been taking the kids to Meeting and as much as I love it for its quietude and the great potential for silence and worship that it offers me every week, I am struggling with what it might mean to be a Quaker, and how much my identity might be problematic. Even as I type it, I see it as untrue.  Not that I've been struggling with what it means, but that my identity would be problematic.  These are a people who believe that your life and how you live it show the light of Christ that lives within.  They are the supreme Namaste-rs .  There aren't any protocols, there aren't any formulations... you seek the light within and take action on what you find there. 

It is the small voice in the back of my throat which says I can't belong. 
*Just right this very second I think back to the stone I picked up at the writer's retreat as a gift token, and on it was written, "i do belong" ... maybe now the relevancy has arrived. DUDE.

I have to go do some thinking.