Otherly titled: Things I have noticed about myself lately and I cannot believe I am 37 years old, still.
*I have to expose yet another personality troublespot that I've noticed lately, my physical incapability to sit close to someone that I have anger/confusion for... do i have a repellent barrier? a forcefield of 'shove off'? I do.
*I also realized just this month that people can actually see me. Yes, Yes, its true. All those years and all those people that I was watching? oh yes, they saw me. Some of them wondered about me and why I was so quiet, some of them glanced away, some of them thought I was a snootyone. . . but dude. I JUST realized that this month. and I am not even kidding you. I don't know what caused it or how it slowly made its way to my consciousness, but it is most definitely a calling out. If, in fact, it IS TRUE that they have seen me ... then ALL of the times that I have looked away or turned without calling out to them or introducing myself... they have seen that too. I can't imagine what it must have been like.
*I am considering AGAIN the impending doom of my ability to be pregnant. and I don't know what to do about it.seeing people with babies is hurting a little bit. but not seeing people with one year olds, or two year olds. hm. AGAIN.
oh, and thats it. does any of it fit into a 'lack' question of faith? hm. well, the pregnancy question is difficult because i am currently in hot pursuit of prophylactics in 'loving' and so am actively not trying to get me a baby. so, there is no lack because i am blocking the pass. yay me. what? i don't know either.
as for the 'my god, people see me?' wackiness, i think perhaps getting older and seeing the multitudes of experiences makes for a better vision. less projection, more introspection? hmmm.
shove off forcefield? i should probably just spit out all the anger/confusion and sit tight with the physical reaction til it dissipates, yes?
mah.
working on it over here. ...
wmx
Rahasia Sukses Bermain di Situs Slot88 Gacor Resmi
13 hours ago
1 comments:
I love the fact that you are in "hot pursuit of prophylactics." I would like my husband to be in hot pursuit of a vasectomy myself.
Post a Comment