Monday, January 11, 2010

narnian by nature

okay, i admit it, again, i am a tremendous nerd. not in a cool way, like i know everything about an arcane subject or about how to get free cable or how to boost your ram. boosting your ram sounds like something masturbatory, frankly. but! in this following post, i need to share my most eternal love.
EDIT: i apologize for always talking about what a dork i am. i am just normal.
and somewhat repetitive.

when i was a girl, i read all of the chronicles of narnia books. when I say that I read them, I mean to say, that I have read each and every of the books at least a dozen times apiece. (and i really think by now its over 20 but i'm hiding the dorky truth) When J. and I were courting and driving long distances together, I read all of the books aloud to him. And yes, even when reading aloud, I cry. I cry because it is such a beautiful vision of the world. all of it. children vanquishing badguys through wild lion love and sacrifice of self for another is the most powerful magic there is. and children love their mothers and horses, too. and bears and beavers and fauns. Good wins! always and with hard work and perserverance, GOOD WINS... In my next life, I will be a tree spirit. Last year for Christmas Eve, my whole little family was recovering from some serious vomit problem, and while everything planned had to be cancelled, we all of us piled into the sofa bed and turned on the television. Lion sighting. I sobbed throughout the entire movie and found myself out of body in trying to explain the sacrifice to my then three year old boy. not easy, but very powerful for me as I began to understand it from an adult perspective for the first time.
I'm not going to get into the sacrifice of Christ here. EDIT; it is much more about a belief that i had when I was 12 before i hit the teenage years of cynicism, sarcasm and denial... and then there were the twenties...and thirties...
And so, the whole point of the post? I LOVE to remember the girl before it all, LOVE THAT. . . and The boy is four now, we've read the Lion Witch Wardrobe book as a bedtime book, without pictures, if you can believe that... and it was on tv last night. so we watched it again and I sobbed again and I think C actually got it, why Aslan was so magical for choosing to 'get pain' as he put it, in order to save someone (Edmund) who needed saving. He's a 'superhero lion'.
I cry an awful lot these days. Beauty is just overwhelming.


urban craft said...

I adore you, kate. I have never been a cryer cause well, I try to appear like I am all strong and tough. Then when I do cry, everyone thinks I have lost it and assume I need therapy when, I just need to cry and get it out and get it over with. You're right about the beauty though, although sometimes these days it seems a little sparse. I also wish I had your nerdiness. You have actually important info in your head (I'm on a mac, do I need to boost my ram? or is that just for PCs?) I am more of the queen of useless knowledge.

Viv said...

I never got into the Narnia books as a kid, but, I do love me some Harry Potter as an adult, and the Eragon books too.