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Thursday, January 14, 2010

this is not all

you know, i have to say it. i'm scared of Haiti. I find it terrifying to look at pictures or hear the news. Its the current desolation, the scary idea that an earthquake can just wipe everything out, take you out, kill your kids , leave your body in a pile in front of the morgues, and remove your home from existence. I'm scared that my life is so complacent, that I waste my time and everyone else's by blogging and kvetching and that none of it really matters . I felt the same way about Katrina and Louisiana and Mississippi and I am sure I will feel the same for the foreseeable future. I don't feel sure that my twenty dollars is going to help anyone. I give it anyhow, but I don't have faith that all the prayers I send will make anyone feel any better or give them some kind of sustenance for finding their baby dead or for the horrors of not getting any answers at all, ever.

5 comments:

Nancy said...

ever. I get it. I hear you. I'm befuddled.

Viv said...

It is a tragedy such that there are few words which could do justice. Prayers are always a good thing though, always.

wifemotherexpletive said...

i know that the prayers are really for myself, to make my SELF feel better and i guess i have questions about whether that just makes me selfish on top of everything else.

Jen said...

For me, I am taking a minute to be glad my own children aren't dead. That is simplifying it to the most simple form. They drive me nuts. But in a second, they could be dead. I should be more aware that life can change in a nano-second and I need to stop bitching about the Playstation. Not taking my kids or their health for granted is what I am trying to take from this. Plus I live on a fault-line. They say if you are not living on the edge than you are taking up too much space.

thisnewplace said...

me too.