Wednesday, February 24, 2010

byron katie and perfection

Another of the things I have found useful in the pantheon that is byronkatie is this: you are doing what you are meant to be doing, because you are, in fact, doing it. SO. what this means to me, how I use it.... when it takes me two hours to rock a two year old to sleep, i say to my crazed brain 'this is what you are meant to be doing right now, the kid needs the physical warmth, the touch, he's been sick for a week, the warmth must be helping his mucus levels, PLUS you are keeping the snot from drowning him..' like that, thats how I use it. My crazed brain needs a lot of reminders because I am exhausted and can't think straight. I've put him on antibiotics now, which I am quite slow to do because I don't like them too much. but this is silly, the entire family is falling to pieces because I don't like antibiotics? Let the kid have some relief, and by doing so... the mom might be able to literally catch her breath again... literally. On the way home from school pickup today I had to count my breaths (while driving) to make sure I was taking them.... hysteria .
Bring on the amoxicillin, baby. Bring it on. This is perfect, it is what I am meant to be doing. Every second I am walking on the path that is MINE. EVERY SECOND. I am the mother to these two and how I choose to do it and how I choose to feel about it is ALL MINE. ALL MIND.
get it?
I am often 'worried' that I am too negative, that some time these kids will look back at this blog and say, 'gee, didn't you like us AT ALL?!' and I worry that I give in to my complainer more than I celebrate my challenges for what they are, part of my purpose and my perfection.
rock it.
somebody get me some cheetos. cheezits. hostess cupcakes.
its perfect, right?
deep breaths, deep breaths. . .


D&d said...

amen, my friend.

Nancy said...

Explaining is NOT the same thing as complaining. Keep on explaining it to us lady. We hear you. We get it.