Anywho... here I am on the motherload... I'm out of my mind bored but also sort of swelling at the seams and must need to rip a seam somewhere, tear the threads off their treads.
this is where I am on the mother road: silent e is a ninja... as performed on the new electric company... can't get it out of my head... will probably die when I am eighty-two, humming 'silent e is a ninja'...
SO. We all have mothers, presumably... technically, right?
I've been on the tip of a sickness iceberg now for f'in ever... and I am looking for one... a mother. my husband is doing wonderfully, especially with his own wobbly health this week, but he is just not good enough. He's got an extra part. (my tone is weird as I write this so forgive me ahead of time if it is nonsensical) In my life, there have been so many of them.. women I have chosen, found, lived with.. who have played that mother role for me, taken on the compassion, selflessness package when called to do so- or when Not called to do so... and I've even done that for others in the same situations. Some of them were the mothers of my friends, even a teacher who became my motherinlaw eventually. Lots. It seems to involve straight talk, a willingness to ask an ugly question or two and an openness to have the reactions be what they are. I was accused by a frenemy when I was in college of being too mothery.. and I was, but now I look at that a lot differently, obviously. college was not a wonderful time for me. oh well.who have you chosen? who'd you look to when you were a kid? there is a technical and then there is the grown, the most-often tended to , the mother-other.
2 comments:
Congratulations on getting everyone settled. We have double ear infection at this house and 2 big kids who have decided school is no longer interesting. Fuck me! Seriously? I said to Mr. Handsome that I feel like some kind of ghost creature who is just here to keep everyone afloat, that I have no identity. He poured me another drink. Good man. Glad you are coming out of your sicky, sick. Take care of yourself.
Oh.. it is crazy how i still need my own mother. Especially when I am sick. My husband has a huge mothering gene and that is one of the reasons I love him. I am also drawn to woman who I feel safe and comfortable with and who I know would help me in a pinch.
Thank you for visiting my blog... so nice to meet you as well.
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