Wednesday, June 23, 2010

countdown to carol... ehhehaha.

hello it is too hot and i am surrounded by wild inanity and i just cannot take it anymore. one of the great weaknesses of my mother is her neverending politeness.( it is also her great strength. )
however, for me, with my ridiculousness frequently on display (i cannot understand why i haven't been barred from public endeavor, but hello, at least i have something to write about), my own politeness is also frequently called into being. and by polite i mean, quietly thinking 'why don't you shut the hell up about your goddamned terrible life and just let me watch the kids in peace?' and saying. 'wow, that is something to have lived through....'
seriously? this is a conversation about money, weather, diapers, OMY. yeah, yeah, you've suffered. yeah. rock me, baby.

is politeness of that sort anything but a lie? why do people keep telling me things ?! i understand this sounds really jerky, but i am just on overload... am i the freaking ghost whisperer of the stay at home mommy crowd? and i am talking park-talk, playdate talk, etc.- nothing to do with friends or blogs or comments or anysuch, just INANE!! talk of the chatchat chat type. how am i drawing this attention? do i look inviting to you? COME ON.
i am yelling. i am.
hear me yell, while one kid sweats to the oldies downstairs and one drowses in his rocking chair and i am too freaking hot. too.
everysingle word has a full stop after it but i can't be bothered with all the searching blindly for the period right now.

my sister and my brother both told me that they've been reading here and been frequently 'scared for you' (sister) and 'emotional' (brother)
tell me what that means? am i bitter? do you read this and feel scared for me? do you?

two more days to go til birthday therapy. wa. hoo.
it may be that i need it. hnmoph.


Jen said...

You do not scare me. I scare me. I too have the unfortunate gift of hearing everything about random strangers. I know more about the cashier at my grocery store than I know about my husband on a good day. Honestly. Do I need to know that the overweight cashier is now using a smoking cessation drug and is really disappointed that her husband won't stop smoking and btw her 15 year old daughter was missing for 5 days in CA! All this while she scanned my chocolate milk, arugula and wheat thins? Can't wait for your birthday... it's going to be good.

Owen A said...

Happy Birthday- here's hoping your chakras are aligned - your kids are calm [but happy- not an unnatural scary blank-eyed passivity calm] and the universe touches you in a way that helps you to realize how fortunate you are to be here and conscious of things. [as we each are fortunate- in our own way, differing in our ability to realize/verbalize our moment.]